Deciding to try for another baby was not a decision we took lightly. My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, the second in Ferdia's high intervention delivery and the third in Phelim's death at home as a result of Potters Syndrome, which is incurable.

It was eighteen months after Phelim's birth and death at home that I felt physically and emotionally ready to try for another baby. I had been under the care of a homoeopath for a few months, which boosted my morale and energy levels. I also had the moral support of my fellow committee members of the Home Birth Association. Once again I was lucky to conceive quickly. When the pregnancy was established we got in touch with Bridget Cummings. She is a midwife and homoeopath and we were delighted when she agreed to take us on. It was difficult in the beginning; we made no big announcements. I operated on a need to know basis. If people began noticed the growing protuberance and they asked questions we told them no lies.

I'm not a fan of ante natal check ups but Bridget made them bearable and I liked her informal antenatal classes, even though this was my fourth pregnancy there was a lot I could learn. This pregnancy felt different from the start. My energy was good even in the mornings. I did not want a scan as I strongly felt that if there was anything wrong with this baby there was nothing that could be done before birth. I heard the baby's strong heartbeat for the first time at 14 weeks when Bridget used her sonic aid. I was a happy person going home that day.

About five months into the pregnancy we knew for certain that we would be moving to Cork. We decided that a move before the baby was born might be less stressful than after, based on experience. I relaxed when Bridget was able to recommend the midwives in Cork with whom she had previously worked. We contacted Mary Cronin and I met her at 28 weeks of pregnancy and I was once again relieved that she took us on. We had only met a couple of times when Mary left for her much deserved five weeks holiday.

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One Sunday night Elke Hassner her partner in midwifery phoned me to introduce herself and check that everything was all right. The very next day just as Niall was setting off to Cavan for the week, I had a slight bleed. I was panicky but Elke quickly reassured me as did Bridget whose homoeopathic expertise I sought. The general consensus seemed to be that I should go in for a scan so off I went to St Finbarrs hospital. They wanted to keep me in overnight but I refused, the situation was stressful enough. The next day we had a scan after the obligatory long wait with a bursting bladder. As suspected the placenta was quite low but the doctor felt it would probably move up and pose no problem during a home birth. I made the decision to take it easy for the rest of the pregnancy and I still have the extra weight to prove that I did.

When next we saw Mary it was obvious she had had no holiday, sadly her father had died. She still managed to reassure me and guide me to through the thrush that plagued the end of the pregnancy. September came and I went back to the Irish School of Homoeopathy, luckily both lecturers that weekend were au fait with homebirth. A week before the due date my mother decided to come back down to Cork with us to be there for the birth. She had booked two weeks holiday from work.

Two weeks came and went and two antenatal checkups. By this stage I'll confess I was sick of the trek to Mary's clinic in Douglas from Ballincollig, so Mary said she'd come back out to our house next time. We were introduced to Antonia Kinski who is working with Mary. The last weekend in September came and my mother reluctantly left on the Saturday. People I passed in the street were predicting imminent labour by now I was so big. At this stage I began to feel tired and uncomfortable. Rescue Remedy was on constant standby and helped me get through the last few nights.

I woke up that Sunday morning a week overdue and decided that the house had to be cleaned from top to bottom which we duly did until lunchtime. It was the final day of the Ryder Cup golf tournament so my sport fanatic partner decided to have lunch in a local hotel, which just happened to have a big screen. Once again I eat a huge meal ignoring the Braxton Hicks Contractions. We went for a walk in the local park, which in my case consisted of a brief shuffle. We purchased a ginger cake on the way home, one of my cravings along with Kerrs Pinks Potatoes and Cider. I had no cravings for fish in this pregnancy an aspect of previous pregnancies (with boys) I found difficult as a vegetarian. The final bend turning into our drive had me feeling uncomfortable.

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Niall insisted on phoning Mary when we were just in the door interrupting her Sunday tea in the process. I had another huge meal and did the dishes and then sat down in my living room. It was then that I felt suddenly disconnected from the outside world, a strange lonely feeling came over me so I switched on the radio to let me know other people still existed. I remember rereading Nicky Wessons Book on Home Birth particularly the account of a precipitous breech birth that took half an hour. I said to Niall half an hour's labour would do me fine.

At 9 30 Mary phoned to check on me and I remember saying I didn't think anything would happen. She asked if Antonia Kinski could come along and I said yes if she would prescribe homoeopathic remedies if needed. It was 11pm by the time Ferdia dropped off to sleep after he caught his finger in the hot press door. I stayed in the bed beside him but I just could not get comfortable so I went to the kitchen to get some water. The locket I wear around my neck rattled reminding me of Phelim. I asked him to help me if labour began. The clock in the living room said midnight as I passed by.

When I got to the kitchen I was suddenly gripped by an intense pain down my rectum, it made me stand on my tiptoes! Niall called me from his bedroom and I realised that I could not answer as I was breathing deeply through the pain. He came in and said he was going to phone Mary. I still felt we might be wasting her time but nevertheless she was on her way.

To pass the time I decided to have a lavender bath. Niall got to work on that straight away. While waiting I began to feel I might not be able to handle it. Ferdia's birth took 42 hours with forceps, epidurals and oxytocin (all unasked for). Phelim's birth at home lasted five hours. Into the bath I got and there was partial pain relief and at the least it was a distraction. I had never seen my stomach contracting before; it was an amazing sight. I lifted myself out of the bath with the pain of some of the contractions, no easy task for someone weighing twelve stone.

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I was still issuing orders to Niall. At about 12 20m he had everything ready and came back to make the cheery announcement that he could see the baby's head. I replied "you're not serious!" or some such incredulous inanity. The popping and gushing noise that followed confirmed that he was in fact serious. The water was completely clear we noted as Niall scooped out the mucus plug or "show". Niall declared himself ready to deliver the baby. I decided I did not want to give birth in the bath. I laboriously got a tee shirt on while clinging to Niall through contractions and made snails pace progress down the hall into the living room where the gas fire was in lit. Thankfully we lived in a bungalow.

It was 12 30 when we got there and Mary simultaneously sprang through the door. I was vaguely aware of her preparations as she realised how close we were to the birth. I was still standing and pulling on the leather belt that Niall was thoughtfully holding his trousers up with. My left leg began to tremble and Mary suggested I might change positions. I declined and suddenly there was that familiar burning sensation, more intense this time. It felt like there was a cannon ball instead of a grapefruit on my perineum.

Mary told me the baby was waving, as there was a little hand beside the head. Another two really powerful contractions and my pain was all over and a new life had emerged. I could feel the baby turn as out it came. Mary said later that the feet stayed in for a minute as if the baby was saying goodbye to its old life in the womb.

My first thoughts were "thank God I'm alive" as Niall looked over my shoulder saying it's a beautiful healthy child. I took what seemed like a couple of seconds to myself remembering Phelim who had died after his birth before I could think of looking. Once again pride and elation at my achievement overwhelmed me.

When Niall said it is a girl the shock was so much I instantly turned and grabbed her from Mary. She was bright pink and clean and wriggling. She didn't cry and she had no moulding to her head, as the birth had been so quick. She was quite clean as most of the waters washed out with her, which was a lovely warm feeling on my legs. I knew that there was only minor tearing to the perineum and this healed up very quickly. I had had time to take only one remedy during the labour, this probably prevented shock. I took Arnica and Bellis after the birth and they really helped.

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Half an hour later Antonia arrived from Clonakilty in time to see me cut the cord and the placenta being delivered into a bucket. Mary showed us all the membranes and they were all fine. The baby then opened her eyes to see what she had let herself in for in terms of parents. She was not very interested in the breast and slept for most of the first twenty-four hours of her life after which she began expelling the immense load of meuconium she had stored in her womb life. This contributed to the nine pound six ounces of her weight at birth.

We had our cups of tea and the ginger cake I had bought earlier. Then it was time for my second bath of the evening this time with Amy as she became known. Mary and Antonia prepared the bathroom with scented candles and oils and Amy just relaxed into the water looking all around her with interest. We took lots of photos, which unfortunately did not turn out as I had loaded the camera incorrectly.

At seven o'clock the next morning Ferdia came into the spare bedroom having missed Mama from the bed. He chatted happily for awhile before incredulously asking what that was beside me, and how did the baby get there. He was in shock for days afterwards. It took him just six months before he decided he liked his little sister.

Mary visited for as long as she felt she was needed and no enquiry was trivial. She was available at the end of a phone line for weeks afterwards. Any problems that came up in the neonatal period she helped us get through making it a very empowering experience. For me personally Amy's birth was the completion of a healing process and she has brought into our lives a light that we did not was needed, as well as restoring the gender balance in the family. Our first lost child was conceived in Cork and our last was lovingly born there.

Thanks again to Amy, Niall, Mary, Antonia, Bridget, Maura, and all in the Home Birth Association in Dublin and Cork.