My third baby, Eilish, was born at home, our first home birth. Her birth was a turning point for me, and for my husband, Karl, too. I found that I began to think in a different way about many things. The whole natural experience of the home birth showed us what
a woman is capable of, and how beautifully our baby came into the world.

Mary Dermody assisted us with Eilish's birth. I had picked Mary because of her geographical location in relation to ours from the list of midwives on the HBA website. It was more like fate bringing me to the wonderful wise midwife that she is. My pregnancy was 20 weeks along on the previous pregnancy before I phoned Mary, and I was blessed that she could take me on.

When I became pregnant for the fourth time, I was delighted, and this time I wasted no time in calling Mary. In fact, if I remember correctly, I think I told Mary before Karl. Her reaction was really excellent when I told her my news, and she agreed to attend me again for another home birth. This time, I planned to hire a pool, I had always wanted a water birth, but plans had not worked out on my previous births.

My pregnancy was non-eventful, except for the baby turning breech one night in the 34th week This could really have thrown a spanner in the works, I did NOT relish the thought of having to go to the hospital. Mary was calm and unperturbed by the breech presentation, and sure, didn't he turn the right way around again within a week or so.

The occasion of getting the pool, I remember almost as well as the birth itself. I managed to get a hold of a fantastic pool, and because of the its design and capability of function, I could use it as often as I liked before the birth. Each evening I would get in and have a bit of a soak before going to bed, it was deep and warm and lovely.

My due date was Mothering Sunday, March 10th 2002. When the big day finally arrived, I was very expectant of something happening because I had so many evenings of "niggles". When the day was over, I was relieved. I decided to relax now into overdue mode, where I would take each day as it came, and indeed to enjoy the time until the birth.
The first contractions woke me from a disturbed sleep at about 2 a.m. on Friday 15th March. I sat in bed for a while just "feeling" them, like I had done on each of my previous labours. I suppose I always doubt at first that it is really labour, that it is merely yet another night of getting me worked up about something about to happen when in fact it is not. However, on this occasion the pains definitely were the signal that this baby was about to come into the world.

I went down stairs and was walking about and swaying in the kitchen, and at about 3.15 a.m. I phoned Mary and she asked me if she should come out. I was hesitant to say yes or no, I said that the contractions were every 4-5 minutes and lasting about 40 seconds, so she said she would come out.

I was delighted with the way the contractions seemed to be coming along, good and strong. I went upstairs to get dressed because I knew that when Mary came she would have me out walking (it was a miserable night, and I did not relish the thoughts of a stroll around the neighbourhood in lashing rain and wind, but if Mary said I should do it, then I would). When Mary arrived, it was like a buzzer inside me going off to tell me to get worked up about something, and as sure as on each labour before for me, the contractions became irregular, and a little weaker. I felt embarrassed and hoped I hadn't dragged this poor woman out of her bed only to discover I had given her a false alarm.

Mary checked me over and we sat and assessed how these contractions were coming along. I was disappointed now that the contractions eased, it was 4.30ish. Mary suggested that myself and Karl go off up to bed for some rest and she would have a bit of a sleep on the couch and we would see how things went. While up in the bedroom I continued to have contractions and certainly some of them were very strong indeed. Mary came up a couple times to check up on me.

Once 6.30 a.m. came and I heard the children stirring in their beds, I became anxious that I didn't want them to see me in pain. I got up with the children and went down to the kitchen to get my two boys, Finán and Cormac ready for school. I just breathed through the contractions, which were a bit weaker now, as I made their breakfast. It felt good to be doing something rather than just waiting up in the bed for the action to take place.

My first labour on Finán was very similar to this, and I suspected that the action would not start up again until later that evening. Mary seemed to agree that it looked like that would happen. She suggested she go home and myself and Karl go out for a walk together after leaving the children around to my Mothers house (we decided to give the boys the day off school). I liked that idea. The plan was to go out for a walk with Karl and then get back home to bed and hopefully get some sleep.

We drove down to the Liffey just up from the grounds of the Italian Embassy in Lucan, a lovely spot. I don't know when the last time myself and Karl got out for a walk hand in hand without our children, it was lovely to get this time to ourselves. I walked very slowly as it almost felt like the baby would fall out if I wasn't careful, and I stopped to have contractions. Our dog, Kelly, stopped to have a fight with a swan on the river, and her behaviour was so ridiculous, the two of us were in knots laughing. How that laughing sent me a whopper of a contraction. It was surreal trying to cope with that contraction while several canoeists made their way to the edge of the river with their canoes.

We headed home as quickly as possible, still no expectation of anything happening because no regular pattern had returned. We got back to the house at 9.45 a.m. and because it was such a damp cold morning, I decided to pop into the birth pool for a little dip, it had been heating up all night in the anticipation of the birth, and so it was really hot not. It was bliss to get into that warm water.

Husband had gone to the bathroom with his Lord of the Rings novel. Within about 5 minutes, a contraction started and seemed to last for another 5 minutes. It was the strongest yet and it was extremely painful. "Where did that come from?" was my reaction. Karl came down stairs to see what all the fuss was about. From then on each and every contraction was strong.

After about half an hour of being in the pool, Karl asked me should he phone Mary. I was unsure, and very reluctant to call her out too early again. He said that we probably should call her because I had 4 contractions within the last 12 minutes. Wow, I hadn't realised they were coming so quickly now. Mary arrived at 11.00 a.m. I was very relieved to see her.

The pains were difficult to cope with, I had back labour before, or so I thought, it was nothing compared to this. At one stage I wanted to asked Karl to get an axe and just crack open my back to ease the pain, but the words wouldn't come out.

Karl had been busy preparing homeopathic remedies including arnica and Pulsatilla. When I seemed to be reaching the classic signs of transition, i.e. when I told them that this water was doing me no good and I had had enough of the whole thing, I was given the pulsatilla by Karl. Within a couple of minutes I squatted against the back of the pool and focused. I was calm and in deep concentration.

The next contraction hit me a little by surprise in that I began pushing through it. I did not have any previous urge to push, but suddenly I was pushing without a conscious effort to do so. I was even more surprised to feel the babies head get to the stage where the mother is told to pant. Mary's words were "gently does it now", but I have to admit, I just thought, "I don't care if I split open, I am pushing this head out now!", and all in that one push the baby's head was born. Mary told me that baby's head was out and I confirmed that I had full knowledge of this.

Within a minute, the next contraction came. I remember pushing like never before, and feeling the shoulders rotate with the effort, and out swam the rest of my baby at 28 minutes past 11 a.m.. Two pushes, within about 3 minutes and he was in the world. It was amazing. I was in shock. Usually words don't fail me, but this time I was speechless. He was so beautiful. He was calm and didn't cry much, and then he opened his eyes and looked at me, it was just so magical, it is very difficult to describe in writing.

When I reflect back on the experience, my heart fills with the same love I felt then. Little darling Dáire came into our lives. A man of the earth, an easy going little chap.

The placenta was born within 7 minutes of the birth. I thought this to be unfair, I was still pretty shell shocked by the quick birth, and in no mood to push through yet more contractions to birth the placenta, but with Mary's help and encouragement, it didn't take long. The pool had been crystal clear, but not so now!

The amniotic sac of 'waters' around the baby never ruptured, Mary actually burst the amniotic sac when his head was born. That is pretty amazing because my previous birth was the same, Eilish's bag of waters protected her also and Mary again had to burst the amniotic sac when her head was born. Both Eilish and Dáire will have their cauls, this is said to be good luck.

I fed Dáire immediately after emerging from the birthing pool for the last time. The three of us chatted and drank champagne like we were just meeting up for lunch or something, it was just about as relaxed as it could possibly be. I made my way up the stairs and into the bath for a wash. A shock of tears hit me, the emotion of it all hit. The best feeling I have ever felt (and that is no exaggeration) was getting into my freshly made bed.

If there were gold medals for bed making, I reckon I would have awarded Mary Dermody one that morning. She probably thought I was a bit crazy asking her what did she do to my bed to make it feel so wonderful. It was most likely that I had wanted to get into it so badly that it was just the best feeling to finally reach it. After all, I was only supposed to pop into that lovely warm pool to wind down to go up for a lovely sleep. I did not get into that pool to birth a baby!